Note to Self

It's been a while since my last post. Things had been really intense in my first months here. Doing masters are actually not as easy as I thought would be. Not to mention the fact that I also have to be able to speak Italian fluently by November, in order to get my internship at Italian companies. So I've been taking night Italian class from Monday to Thursday. Which was quite exhausting after having a day with 2 or 3 classes before. Sometimes sitting in class just listening to the Professor will get so tiring, because my mind is working with extra concentration and attention nonstop. Sometimes when I got too exhausted I found myself were spacing out and looking outside the window.
This routinity went for a month or so until our Fashion Brand Management Professor gave us a gigantic project, which is a 250 pages of paper about a certain brand we like and we wish to work in. All the girls in my class were so shocked, 250 pages is like, i don't know, doctoral dissertation? since every week we have to give presentation on our paper project, and since we also have numerous assignments from other Professors, I decided to quit Italian class and focus on assignments first. Phew.

Beside all of these crazy school stuff, I'm starting to get my life on track here. Since I live by myself now, (I had been living with my family since forever) of course I had to do all the households. Cleaning the house, making the beds, doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking,
paying bills, etc. Well surprisingly I enjoyed doing them. I like to cook whatever I like to eat, I can manage whenever I want the house to be clean and I can do whatever I want everytime.

But yes, since i'm living alone, once in a while it gets really lonely. I mean I like being alone, but when it gets too lonely, I'll be depressed. And hearing news from all families and friends back home makes make feel sort of left-out. This actually happened a week ago when I was so stressed with school and assignments and was really homesick. All I did was crying in bed and cry to my boyfriend and Mom. I wondered how can I survive a year like this. I even thought of going home in the summer.

Then someone told me this :
"Don't be indulged in homesick. Admit that you miss home, but you're there anyway"

Then I remember what brought me here. It was my dream. And I'm living it now. Even though it doesn't look as shiny and glittery as those in my mind, it still is.
And I told myself :
"Rather than complaining, look around and see there are too many things to be grateful for"

Continuing my journey with optimism now! Wish me luck! :)