Wednesday, March 14, 2012


Because sometimes I see myself as a kite, who wants to fly high, catch the dreams and embrace the sky. But you, you're the one who hold my string. So that I don't get lost and will always get back to you. Safe and warm. You're my home, don't ever let me go.

Happy 2nd Anniversary, my dear.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Ski Weekend

I went skiing with friends last weekend. There is a ski resort near Bologna so we decided to take a two hour train + bus trip and spend our saturday there. It was my first time and I have to say, sliding in your ski board with cold wind all over your face is one of the best feeling in the world. Made me so happy. Looking forward to do it again another time :) Oh, if only we have snow in Indonesia...

 Too lazy to carry my camera so I borrowed Fidya's all the time. Thank you! :p

Sunday, March 4, 2012

On Losing Things

I lost my phone yesterday. I went skiing and getting home so tired I was sleeping on the bus. It was a very deep sleep that I didnt remember still holding my blackberry in my hands. I woke up, rushingly get off the bus and 10 minutes later I realized my blackberry wasn't in my bag. I guess someone took it from my hand when I was asleep, or it felt down when I didn't pay attention. I don't know. All I know is i'm very upset because I usually depend my whole life on that little thing.

We all get upset for losing our valuable things. I am the kind of person who always try to take care of my things, put everything in order and in safe place so that i dont lose them. But lately in my life I experienced a whole series of losing stuffs. Back in August I was day-traveling to Verona and someone stole my wallet from my bag. I was so frustrated because I have everything there. My residence permit, ATM, credit card, money, Indonesian driving license, etc. And since I'm living alone and far from my family, every time something happens to me I have to be responsible of my own self. I have to control my monthly expenses otherwise I might not have something to eat the next week. And I always tried not to troublesome my parents.

And when last night I lost also my phone, I was really upset. Because since that wallet incident, I've always been trying to be extra careful for my belongings. I don't wanna lose anything ever again. And yet it happened.

I got home really frustrated and sad. I prayed to God "why did  you let this happen to me?" I opened up a daily devotional before going to bed. And I read..

"We often don't realise how important something is or how much value we place upon it until we don't have it any more.  If we get frustrated about losing a phone or some tickets imagine how God feels when he loses a relationship with a person."

That sentence hit me. God really does speak to me.

I tried to recall my life lately. Since I came back to Italy and started my internship, I have been doing the same routine everyday. I get up - go to work - go home - eat dinner - sleep. The weekends I spend to do things I cannot do on workdays. I go shopping, meet friends, eat in restaurants, go dancing, or go out of town. I still go to church every Sunday but I sometimes questioning, "why do I have to do this". Every time in church I see people singing and praising God and all I can think of is "why can't I feel what they feel anymore?". I sometimes pray "God bring me closer to you, why do I feel so far to You?" I've been reading devotionals about making a quiet time with Him everyday, but somehow always feel so tired and lazy. My spirit as a Christian is degrading and I felt saturated with all the routine. I realized I'm getting far and further from Him and yet I didn't make a significant effort to get back to Him.

But last night God spoke to me. I realize that He let this situation happen to me because He wants me to understand what its like to lose our precious stuff. He wants me to understand what He feels when He loses His relationship with me. He loved me SO much that He got sad and briefs when He felt like losing me.

I got ashamed. I only lost my blackberry and tried all the effort I can do to find it. But when I (almost) lose my precious relationship with God, I didn't try hard enough to renew my saturated heart. I cried so hard because I know He still loves me so no matter what I did. God values every one of us. He desires for us to be in close relationship with Him.
God let things happen in our life because he wants to tell us something.
And sometimes He let things happen in our life to make us realize how loved we are.
How delightful was it to know that I am more precious to Him than any other object or possession.
Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.  Jeremiah 29:13 

Lord, make me understand the fruit of my relationship to You and draw me closer to You each day.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Happy Birthday, Love

A birthday present I made for my boyfriend's 28th birthday. I collected friends and asked people in the street to congratulate him in their language. Actually I had more scenes of friends but I accidentally deleted them in my computer :( Anyway I hope he likes it. Thank you everyone for making this happen! :)

Happy Birthday, Andre.
With love from Italy.

Monday, February 13, 2012

February 14, 2010

Someone took this picture of me on February 14, 2010. It was on a memorial concert of my late dear friend Olive Pieter, held in FKUI function room. Olive was a beloved member of my choir, a great doctor, and a dearest friend for all of us.

I didn't think of anything that could happen to me that day. I was just coming to sing with my choir and send our love to Olive. I even remember that in that very night my heart was still truly hurt by my past relationship.

Who knows that in that special night, I met the love of my life. After the concert me and my choir went to KFC Cikini to have dinner. Unexpectedly, he sat just behind our table. He was wearing a blue shirt and wore glasses. He was with his friends when he asked my name and shook my hands. He has calm eyes and a kind smile. I didn't exactly know how but after we've met, I felt warm and was smiling all the way home. He was holding a camera. He was the one that took this picture.

From that day on, this man got a very special place in my heart. And I believe that 14 February 2010 wasn't a coincidence but God's way for us to meet each other.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person in the right time, we will understand.

And oh, it was a valentine's day. :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Miss Doing This

I can't believe its almost a year ago that I left my job at Cosmogirl Indonesia and went to Italy to pursue my master. Now that I started my internship and sometimes had to do some photo-shots, it reminds me of all those days I had to them for the magazine. These are my last work before i left. Good times :)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Un Bellissimo Autunno

Can't stop myself from taking photographs everywhere i go these days for its such a beautiful autumn in Tuscany now.