Melancholic Mood

Sometimes the things you want the most don't happen and what you least expect happens. I don't know - you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.
(Jamie Randall, Love and Other Drugs.)

Feeling in a melancholic mood tonight. Sitting here alone in my room on Saturday night. My mind wonders around. Can’t sleep yet. Wanted to do my project but too lazy too start. Just called my man a second ago who’s sleeping at the moment just to hear his voice. Been missing him terribly tonight….

I remembered having conversation the other day with my classmates during the break at the Chinese restaurant near school. We were talking about the day we’re going to finish this master and have to decide where to go next. Some of them want to go to London, Milan, Berlin, Shanghai, etc. They feel like it’s the time to look for a real job in the industry and starting over in a new place. I would definitely mention the same cities if I were asked 2 years ago. Instead that day I answered “anywhere near home”.

It’s funny to think how love and life has changed me a lot. I used to be this ambitious girl with tons of dreams and guts that can’t be blown by anything. I would go wherever I want and achieve anything I could grab.

But everything’s different now since I met this man.

I don’t know. Have you ever been so filled with love? You feel so much loved and you have overwhelming amount of warm love coming out of your lungs upon this particular person. You feel like you want to spend the rest of your lives with them. You feel like you only want to make them happy. And without realizing, you know that person is your source of happiness.

I just want to be anywhere near him. It’s like nothing in this world matters anymore if I don’t have him. It may sounds cliché. But I guess it all make sense when you’re so much in love.